There's a belief that all that you truly need lies within you. There is no 'other place' or outside gifts, knowledge, special superhuman talent that you need to get the job done, to be whole, to conquer. Yet all these things and more lie within YOU and you are fully capable of achieving anything.
With this in mind, I've started to ask myself, 'Am I asking too much from my yoga practice?' Am I expecting too much? Depending on it too much?
Yoga and I have had this on-again-off-again type relationship for over a decade. We met we fell in love, I went away, I got hurt, I came back, I got better/stronger, I went away again - I lost my way, I bumped into yoga again and it welcomed me back and so on and so on. In all honesty it's been the healthiest relationship I've had but yet I can't help but feel some sort of dependence to the practice. I've done enough asana to know that it will give me the body I want. I've delved deep into meditation and know that when I want answers, silence is the only place I will hear them and I've tried to bring yoga into every other aspect of my life to create something meaningful, authentic and whole.
I do believe that when you're in pain (emotionally) it's because somehow, somewhere you've gone off track. You have disconnected from your center - from who you are. You've allowed things you normally wouldn't tolerate to infiltrate your life. You've said yes when should have said no and you went along for the ride when you knew in your gut you should've stayed home. In my opinion yoga is what helps you get back. Whenever I start to question my body, resent my job, neglect my friends, start to recluse, I kick up my practice. I believe that yoga can fix me, can heal me - I believe and I know. I sat down for tea with a good friend yesterday and she spoke of how as a Ayurveda therapist she seeks to heal the 'whole' person, body, mind, and spirit - without one you're just going to be circling the drain.
Now maybe yoga for you is walking on the beach, going for a swim, hiking a peak - whatever it is, whatever brings you 'home' is exactly what you need to have in your life. Things, people, jobs, money, will never give you what you need, what you already have - but it can block what is within you from shining. I do ask a lot from my practice. I ask it to show me who I am, to remind me of why I'm here and to make me strong, body and mind. Throughout everything I've always returned to yoga because I know that it is the same. It is comfort, it will challenge me, it will move things to my core and wake me up. Knowing that eating clean, being with friends and family, taking time for myself is just where I'm supposed to be. So maybe it's not so much a dependence but a fact that yoga is that piece of the puzzle that you, that WE all need in our lives to be complete. And perhaps the soul knows it and always finds a way to bring you back when you've gone off track.